Bill and Hill at the White House, January 2009

B: Another tough day, darlin’?

H: I signed the order for Frank Rich’s execution and cancelled my first press conference. Then that creep John Kerry called and I had to listen to his whining about not being made Secretary of State. A mend-fences lunch with Rush Limbaugh, then off to a meeting with another suck-up, Howard Dean, and a doctor’s appointment to deal with my post-election stress disorder. I say, fuck them all. I told Mandy, “Thank God we’re back here and I can sink my teeth into my agenda.”

B: Remember my old saying, “Don’t get mad, get even.” Why don’t I do the next press conference? We’ll play Get the Press and I’ll have Carville cook up some barbs for Tim Russet, Wolf Blister and the rest of them scumbags.

H: I am so goddamn tired of bridging off their stupid questions to get to my campaign points. How many times did I have to fend off snide comments about you and move on to health care and heating oil? The whole thing about Ronald Reagan was a big fairy tale.

B: I know, you were taking all the heat while I was on the stump having fun tweaking Obama. I wonder, are black people’s skins thinner than whites’?

H: Hmm . . . you never made it with a black chick, did you? Or did you?