Dim-Witted Leaf-Eaters

Jim Fassett, a credentialed dinosaur hunter, has discovered that some of the creatures may have lived on past their presumed time of extinction. After digging in the San Juan Basin near the Colorado-New Mexico border, Fassett maintained that

a sizable population of ceratopsians and sauropods, a class of giant, dim-witted leaf-eaters such as the brachiosaurus, hung on for another 500,000 years in the basin. "There might even have been some T. Rexes, based on some teeth we found," Fassett said in a phone interview Thursday.

All dinosaurs were supposed to have been wiped out in the Big Cataclysm 65 million years ago when an asteroid clobbered the Yucatan. The fact that some may have survived surely suggests that other species, like our modern birds and crocodiles, also have Cretaceous ancestors.

The Republicans are part of this strain, though they are clearly threatened with extinction owing to their frantic, fratricidal desire to consume their own. These dim-witted leaf-eaters continue to blame each other for their difficulties while failing to demonstrate any kind of adaptive behavior that would enable their survival.

They are now feuding about who’s responsible for the Specter defection even as Michael Steele and the RNC self-destruct. It’s like the end of Jurassic Park, where the dinos attack each other and the humans flee by helicopter. Maybe in the next version, Newt Gingrich will play T. Rex and we can abandon them all on an island.